or 2 I don't know. I should be working on the exhibition but I feel like I don't have energy to do so. And I'm thinking about Sami all the time. Yesterday was a great day, we had an open studios event at the residency and I had lots of great conversations with people. who visited. Very interesting and refreshing. In the evening both of us were invited to go for drinks with some other artists from Basel (one is teaching in Karlsruhe and asked me for my seminar series) but because he got a message that he might need some help today 1 said no, he went. Would've loved to meet these people, too. But it's Sunday and the only day off he has, so well. Now everyone else is prepping for the opening on Friday but im just hanging around, not doing much work. Not sure if it's the lack of a clear plan or what it is. And I should be fundraising but im not getting anywhere right now either way. It's frustrating to see how little money comes in per day, especially as I'm putting in hours every day into it... So yeah Thinking about sämi makes me happy but also kind of sad because I would love to see him again will only happen in September), but also frustrated because sex with Nico is not satisfying for either of us and sometimes I just wonder why we're still doing it (probably because we want to make each other happy). And also feeling sad about Sämi because we haven't been texting much recently (al- though he doesn't text much anyways), so l'm feeling a bit neglected there very nice situation with my boyfriend). And also having Relationship anxiety pangs again which is annoying and stupid be- cause everything is going really well between me and Nico.